Titus 2 Joy

Birth of a Baby

2011-12-09T08:04:00.000-08:00

For several years it was my privilege to be a doula and midwife assistant, attending many births, including the birth of eight of my grandchildren. I was even privileged to "catch" three of my grandbabies! What a wonderful miracle is the birth of a baby! I know several women whose husbands have either delivered or assisted in the birth of their own children.

As we celebrate the birth of our Savior in the humble stable in Bethlehem, I wonder how Joseph and Mary felt. Did Mary have anyone to assist in the birth of Christ besides Joseph? We do not know. What we do know is that Joseph willingly took on the role of husband to Mary, though he was not the biological father of her Son.

Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.

But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.

And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.

Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying,

Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.

Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife:

And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS. Matt. 1:18-25

Mary humbly and gratefully accepted her pregnancy and motherhood of the Son of God who would be her Savior.

And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord, And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour. For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.

For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name. And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation.

He hath shewed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.

He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree. He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away.

He hath holpen his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy; As he spake to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed for ever. Luke 1:46-55

Michael Card's song about Joseph pondering how he could be father to the Son of God has always been one of my favorites:

How could it be this baby in my arms

Sleeping now, so peacefully

The Son of God, the angel said

How could it be

Lord I know He's not my own

Not of my flesh, not of my bone

Still Father let this baby be

The son of my love

Father show me where I fit

into this plan of yours

How can a man be father to the Son of God

Lord for all my life I've

been a simple carpenter

How can I raise a king, How

can I raise a king

He looks so small, His face

and hands so fair

And when He cries the sun

just seems to disappear

But when He laughs it shines again

How could it be

May we also welcome and rejoice in God's gift to us, Jesus Christ, Lamb of God, our Savior, who was born to die for the sins of many. May we welcome all the little ones whom God places in our wombs, as Mary did. Our children are the heritage of the Lord, and His wonderful Blessings to our families.

May God richly bless you as this season reminds the whole world of Christ's birth!

Joy to the world-- the Lord is come!

Feeling Like Fine China

2011-08-30T10:56:00.001-07:00

Lately I have been feeling some sadness at growing older. After living a very active life for over sixty years, emotions similar to “empty nest syndrome” have been creeping in. Nothing really desperate, mind you, just thoughts like: “Is this all there is to life at this age? Why am I already feeling lonely, as if I were truly alone, as when a spouse dies?” My husband and I enjoy each other’s company, and we are busier than ever this summer, with the garden overflowing; but there is a longing for something else. I ask myself if I am being discontented, which I consider a sin, or if there is something about aging that I am just discovering for myself.

When my first husband and I were married long ago in North Carolina, we received a beautiful set of china from the church members. We packed them away carefully and took them with us wherever we moved. One year we moved five times! When we finally settled down long enough, my husband told me that whatever of our possessions we did not use in six months would be discarded– except of course, seasonal items like winter clothing, etc. Not wanting to break our expensive china by constant use, we had kept it in its packing box, but my husband said if we did not use it within six months, out it would go! So we used it often. Even after my husband died I used the china many times. Four years after he died, I began to feel like the packed box of china– someone with an abundance of valuable life experiences which were not being used or shared with others. I spoke of this to my pastor and his wife– “Is this all there is to life, now at this stage?”

I remember when we had to take the car keys away from my parents (who lived next door to me) when they became too incapacitated to drive safely. That was a traumatic moment for them, and a sad one for me, to admit that my parents were really getting too old to perform some tasks that had been second nature to them. I laughingly told them that now we could pretend they were very wealthy and could afford a chauffeur– me! I believe my parents probably felt that was the beginning of the end of their lives. Am I at that stage of aging where I begin to think life is past and there is little reason to live, too? (My hips are now bad enough that I can no longer ride a motorcycle with my husband. "Old" has set in.)

Not wanting to resort to psychology, I began wondering what God’s Word has to say about my encroaching “swamp of despair.” Does God have anything to say about what women feel through the various stages of their lives? I did not know for sure, but I was willing to search. And so, I went to the beginning– Genesis.

Genesis 2:18-24 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Aha! Of course! Adam needed a wife! Eve was needed. That is what I am feeling– a need to be needed. But I know my second husband needs me– he tells me every day that I am the perfect wife for him. Do I need any more than him? (Proverbs 31:10-31 describes a perfect wife and how her husband and children praise her.)

“Children.” My husband and I have five– three of mine and two of his. God’s Word also shows the biological urge in women–the need to have a baby. In Samuel 1:2-20, Hannah yearns for children. In Genesis 30:1, “... when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die.” (A desperate need to have children!) God did answer both Hannah and Rachel by opening their wombs. Psalms 113:9 He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.

Another way women are needed is stated by the Psalmist: Psalms 22:9 But thou art he that took me out of the womb: thou didst make me hope when I was upon my mother’s breasts. Psalms 22:10 I was cast upon thee from the womb: thou art my God from my mother’s belly. A baby needs its mother for sustenance– in the womb and for nursing. After weaning, most mothers yearn for another baby. Women love being needed!

God’s Word also tells us children need mother and father to teach them about God and His Word: Deut. 6:7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. Parents are to teach children every minute of the day how to love and obey God.

Okay! I have been there and done that! But does the Bible say anything about “empty nest syndrome?” Every empty nest woman needs to be needed, but her children are gone and no longer need her. God does address the issue, though not as I thought. Husband and wife are to maintain their own relationship of marriage throughout the child training years. I saw that a woman needs God’s Word to be implanted deep in her life. Here is God’s plan for husbands and wives:

Eph. 5:15- 27 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

I Tim. 5:8-10: But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man, Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints’ feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.

Families are to provide for their own households in physical and spiritual ways. My first husband and I maintained our relationship during the child training years by having “date nights” when we would spend time together assessing the spiritual and physical needs of ourselves and our children. When I was 52 years old, he was killed, and I was at a loss. No one was left at home who needed me! That was when I spent a lot of time with my pastor and his wife for encouragement in the Word. Then I discovered how an overlooked passage in Titus could apply to me:

Titus 2:3-5 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

I discovered a new need I had --older women need to pass on life skills to younger women. I was to be like the good widow in I Tim. 5:10. What a blessing God has given older women in meeting this need! I have had many years happily encouraging younger wives and mothers, even having young ladies sent to me by my sister in Brazil for “mentoring.” Sadly, many churches do not avail themselves of this plan of God for encouraging their younger women. Some younger women think they will be looked down upon if they are not “super-woman,” so they do not ask for help or advice from the elder women. And even more sad it is that many older women shun this plan of God. They say, “I have done my share of taking care of house and children, and am going to take care of my needs now!” How they miss out on the blessing that comes from encouraging other women in righteousness, so that God’s Word is not blasphemed!

Another blessing is thrown away when children no longer need, or value their parents in their own lives and in the lives of their own children. Dear friends of ours lament the fact that their children have no room in their lives for them, except as guests at Christmas to bring gifts to the grandchildren. These friends are missionaries who have rich experiences which may bless their children and grandchildren, but their own offspring deny them the chance to visit more than once a year! The children “take out the good china” only at Christmas! They are content to be “an island unto themselves” the rest of the year.

As we get older, we need to be needed by the younger generation, especially the grandchildren. We hear of so many younger people professing their need for the older generation for the financial aid they can give, especially for “college”. There is certainly nothing wrong with needing financial aid, but the need to be needed goes much deeper than “money.” Praise the Lord, my husband and I have children who welcome our interaction with our grandchildren! Psalm 78: 1-8 is one of my favorite “multi-generational passages:

Give ear, O my people, to my law: incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments: And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation that set not their heart aright, and whose spirit was not stedfast with God.

So where does all this bring me to at this time in my life? What about my desires to be needed? Granted, I am needed by my husband, though we are not part of a bustling family life like I yearn for as I remember my childhood. So what does God say about where I am right now? I am finally brought to:

Ecclesiastes 3:1-14: To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth? I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it. He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life. And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God. I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him.

There is a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing. God has made everything beautiful in His time. Though I need and desire the companionship of our children and grandchildren, my greatest need is my need of God’s presence, in whom alone all my needs are met at every season of my life, to God be the glory!

"My sin, o the bliss of this glorious thought; my sin not in part, but the whole, is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more, Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, O my soul."

(Note: The china above was hand painted by my mother-in-law on Bavarian china! A truly talented woman!)

Communication Woes

2011-05-16T16:08:00.000-07:00

Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

Many of us have experienced times when true communication seems impossible and frustrating.

Take for example, discussions about abortion, where opposite sides try to claim the higher ground in defending a "woman's rights." Though both sides claim to be championing what is best for the mother, when the pro-life side brings in biblical arguments, the pro-abortion side refuses to accept any religious stance.

Or try discussing politics, where each side comes from very opposing world-views about the purposes of government. When they try to define what they believe, they usually come to no common ground of language on which to agree.

My first husband and I were very much on common ground when we married, and continued so until his death. However, at six years into our marriage we hit a stagnant period when we wondered if the bond we had was really all there was to unity and joy in marriage. Some friends encouraged us to attend a "Marriage Encounter" weekend, and they even kept our children overnight while we stayed at the hotel for the conference.

One of the first sessions was about definitions. We were each given the assignment to spend ten minutes in different rooms writing a short essay on our definition of "joy", using color, sound, and feelings to describe "joy." Then we were to come back together in our hotel room, exchange notebooks, read and discuss each other's definition for ten minutes.

What an eye-opening experience! My definition of "joy" was "quietly sitting beside a tranquil lake in the golden dappled light coming through pine trees, listening to the wind whispering through the trees, and being mesmerized by the sun glistening on the water."

My husband's definition of "joy" was "rockets blasting off, fireworks splashing the night with color, and heart-bursting exuberance." We were both shocked at how differently we looked at the same word! My joy was full of peace and quiet, his was full of activity and noise. (Maybe that is part of the difference between men and women!)

There were several additional sessions of "ten and ten" as the leaders gradually gave us harder questions to ponder. Then came a "ninety and ninety" session. In our hour and a half apart, we were to write about our greatest fears; then exchange notebooks and read and discuss what each had written for the next hour and a half. I cannot remember all the details, but mine involved my fear of not being able to do all I wanted to do as a mother in rearing our children. My husband's was his fear that as I often asked him to pray for me and our family, his prayers would not even reach to the ceiling, and God would not hear him.

My husband's fear was greatly relieved when I told him I never depended on the effectiveness of his praying, but depended only on God who alone knows our deepest need. My fear about being able to teach our children all they needed to know by the time they left home never fully went away, but was greatly abated by realizing that only God could hold onto our children and teach them. We must do our part to biblically train them, but above all we must trust them to God's care, and never stop praying for them. We thought ninety minutes would be a long time to spend talking about one topic, but the discussion we had that day continued throughout our marriage.

Our communication views were changed after that "encounter" and our marriage took on new depth, as we learned not to take for granted our sometimes differing ideas on word meanings. Instead of expecting each other to know us well enough to read our minds, we needed lots of communication time, which can be difficult when you are rearing children. My husband and I continued our "ten and ten" times for many years after the Marriage Encounter. We would sit on the couch and tell our children that mommie and daddy were unavailable for fifteen minutes and they could play quietly in their rooms and not interrupt us. When they tip-toed through the living room on their way to get frequent glasses of water, they watched us holding hands, looking at each other and talking. I am not sure what they remember of those times, but for us, it was crucial to take the time daily to communicate our feelings and define goals for ourselves and our family. (Night time was not the best time, because we were usually exhausted.)

We took a whole day off once, leaving the children with friends, while we talked about God's plan for our family and in what areas our children needed special attention. We felt that our family goal should be to show the world the unity of the Godhead through our family-- five totally different people cheerfully demonstrating unity of spirit to the world around us. To do that, we needed to learn how to honor each other and how to handle differences biblically. We kept our list simple: Instant obedience to parents, no hitting, no biting, no name calling, no tale-bearing to each other nor to those outside the family. We had frequent "family conference" times to check up on our progress implementing our family goals.

Our son once called his younger sister a donkey (word changed to less objectionable one), and for his punishment, he had to clean her entire bedroom to her specifications. After several hours cleaning the room and dusting all his sister's miniature animal collection, putting each one back in its particular place with his sister following his every move, our son said he would never call her a bad name again-- the penalty was too much for him! And to my knowledge, he never dishonored her that way again!

In our daily communication, my husband and I discovered the great importance of agreeing together about word and concept meanings. It was not enough to say, "We need to be more generous." We had to come to an agreement about what generosity meant to each one of us, and how to apply that to our family and finances. It was not enough for my husband to tell me he wanted me to take care of the checkbook-- I needed to know if I would be just carrying the checkbook in my purse all the time, or if I also would be writing the checks for all the bills, doing the banking, etc. We had to agree on all aspects of our finances, otherwise, I would be surprised by some expectation of his that I had neglected, or I might surprise him by some decision I made about our finances without his input.

We had gone into our marriage denigrating the "50/50" definition of marriage. Our lofty goal was to give 60% and only expect 40%. After several years of marriage, we came to the conclusion that, biblically, marriage is 100/0: give 100% and expect nothing in return. We were both 100% committed to our marriage and our family, and whatever division of labor we agreed to, we discussed the job descriptions in detail, so we knew what should be done.

Because of our commitment to be with our children, we decided I should always be a stay-at-home mom. When we realized our children should not be taught by public schools, we began teaching them at home. That was another topic of discussion which needed defining and re-defining as the years went by.

When our two older children were in college, we had a family conference to evaluate our family goal before they returned to classes in the fall. My husband and I thanked God for enabling us to accomplish our goal of demonstrating unity in a family of five distinct personalities, and giving us loving friendship with each other. We five became our own best friends

My husband was an elder in our church, and we often were called upon for marital counseling. As we counseled couples, we came to see that one of the biggest killer of marriages and other relationships is "expectation!" We encouraged the couples to define their goals for their marriage– “If you do not have a goal, how do you know when you have reached it? And how can you avoid being disappointed in each other because of some undefined expectations you should have defined?”

When we found ourselves with resentment against each other because we held to vague expectations, my husband and I would go to a private place away from the children and hug each other while we confessed our sin and renounced selfish expectations. Then we prayed for each other. It is difficult to hold resentment when praying for the one you resent. And it is difficult to resent someone when you are free of expectations.

Job 42:10 ¶ And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before. 12 So the LORD blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning:

Job was “captive” by his expectations of consolation from his friends. We also become captive to expectations which may even cause us to become bitter.

Hebrews 12:14 Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: 15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

May we be sensitive to our susceptibility of picking up offenses when none were meant. May we be free of expectations from others in matters that only God can satisfy. May we be like the wise man who “defined” his plan before he began building a tower!

Luke 14:28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?

May God give us wisdom to define our words in such a way that others will have no uncertainty about our communication! May our communication be clear, and filled with love and kindness.

I Cor. 13:4 ¶ Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 ¶ Charity never faileth:

A Midwifery Student's Paper

2011-04-26T12:45:00.000-07:00

My Calling, My Heart

Growing up, I loved babies, but there was a mystery surrounding pregnant women. I think I was too naive to notice their growing bellies. To me a baby just appeared; I did not know from where. I am the youngest child in my family so I never saw my mother in her childbearing season of life and we never lived near family so I never saw my aunts or other female relatives in that season either. Our church culture was such that it was not obvious to me, as a child, how God perfectly planned and made women to carry and bear children. I simply do not remember ever seeing a woman go through her childbearing year or having a relationship close enough to a woman in her childbearing year for me to understand the process of new life through her example.

Growing up, I was the little girl who played with dolls. Most of my friends loved toy horses or Barbies but I cared more about taking care of my babies. Consequently, whenever I saw a real baby, I was severely interested and fascinated. I remember thinking they were so adorable and sweet and innocent. It horrified me when they cried and I wanted to comfort them.

With babies came mommies and I remember the comments and, sometimes, whispers that told of how a baby came into the world. I readily gleaned the fact that it was quite an expensive process considering those gleaming white hospitals which must have taken a lot of upkeep. The OB/GYN lingo that went with "doctor" seemed to hold a lot of weight with those new mommies, too. One thing I knew for sure was that it involved a lot of blood and pain, but as long as there was a healthy baby, the process was secondary.

As the youngest in my family, I always wanted younger siblings. Because of that longing, I planned and looked forward to having my own children. But whenever the process was mentioned, I became so confused. How could such a beautiful, blessed baby be the product of such an excruciating and merciless process? In my young mind things did not line up. How could the loving God I knew place that determined fate on all womankind? If that was my future with children, I quickly thought that maybe adoption or no motherhood at all was for me instead.

A few months ago, I found a journal dated to March 2006. I was fourteen at the time. Among other things, it said, "When I grow up, I want to be a dressmaker or a midwife." I find this to be a complete mystery because I wrote journal entries so rarely I have no remembrance of keeping them. It also brings many questions to mind because I do not recollect moving from the concept of labor and birth as a medical event to an entirely different scenario with a midwife. I remember my mother speaking highly of midwives but not actually having them with her during labor and birth because they were off duty. Maybe that had an impact on me, leading me to think midwives were one of the answers. I will not ever know.

When I was fifteen, I stayed with a woman whom I had never met for a little over a week. I think my mother talked to her on the phone once and we e-mailed back and forth a few times before I stayed with her. I had things planned to learn from her and different reasons for visiting, but when I look back, she taught me some other important things quite unintentionally.

This woman has three children and twenty-four grandchildren (and counting!) of whom she speaks with pride. Her grandchildren are all rather young at present but her children are scattered over the world leading inspiring lives for the Lord. As usual, I cannot remember how the conversation came about, but she told me quite enthusiastically of how her children and grandchildren came into the world. She is a magnificent storyteller in the first place, and always has a captive audience. Her birth stories were no exception. One of her daughters loved to use a birthing stool, while, for another, she recounted how her daughter put her arms around her husband's neck and moved her hips in circle motions and all used midwives. This woman even caught several of her grand-babies. Where were the shiny hospitals, lab coats, blood, and pain? They were not mentioned to me. I was only impressed by how highly she talked of the process, how it drew couples together, and how rewarding it sounded. There was trust and hope. I was supposed to be learning some practical skills like cooking, sewing, and gardening that week, but I was blessed even further by the impressions I had from her stories. I did not realize the impact these stories had on me. I just knew I liked what I was hearing compared to what Hollywood and the culture in which I lived had always told me.

Gentle birth without fear and violence was new to me but I knew it was what I wanted. I wanted it for my sister and those I loved most. I mourned for those who experienced less than this. Without knowing it, I thought every woman deserved such a birth. It was the best. How could I want less for anyone? But how to become a midwife? How did that work? What exactly did they do and how did they learn it all? How could I go through the process myself so others would gain the same vision and have a gentle, safe birth without fear? I did not have the answers to anything, but I knew it was a calling I had to answer. Who else was going to do it?

From the woman who introduced the idea of gentle birth to me, I was given a name. The name was of a woman who was a doula (I had no idea what that was yet!), childbirth educator, and aspiring midwife. I did not know much about her but I e-mailed her anyway, hoping she could answer some of my questions.

Doran e-mailed me back and filled in a lot of blanks for me. She told me about a couple of Christian programs that train doulas and childbirth educators. One of them was Charis Childbirth. I was impressed by the clear ministry goals that they had and the option to study further in their midwifery program following their doula and childbirth educator program. A lot of the other certification programs only trained doulas and childbirth educators. I was pretty sure I should just be a doula but had not completely cancelled out of my mind the idea of being a midwife. I wanted the midwifery option "just in case." What is more, Charis seemed to be the most organized in how they presented the material and I got the impression their academic criteria would be challenging, which appealed to me.

Doran also recommended several books I could go ahead and purchase now but would also benefit me in any future program. I remember receiving several of those books for Christmas that year and being excited yet overwhelmed. How would I learn everything and, more importantly, how would I ever be able to look at a placenta without feeling queasy?! I did not know how this could be my calling if I still found it to be rather gross. That was about six months before I was to graduate from high school and I prayed, first, to find a school that was academically challenging and taught from a Christian worldview. My second prayer was to attend a birth before graduation so I would know I could "take" what birth entailed. I see now that is one naive prayer to have prayed!

Two months later, with my parent’s encouragement, I contacted Charis, received a warm welcome from the founder, and scheduled a phone appointment. Kristin answered my few questions and I knew God had answered my first prayer. This school was for me and I was so excited about starting in the fall after I graduated.

As other things changed in our lives, we also had worshiped with a new pastor and different congregation than from a few months before. The congregation was made up of mostly young families, and our pastor and his wife were expecting their third child. Many other families were expecting children. I noticed this because it was so different from our previous congregation, although I do not remember thinking anything of it at the time. I was graduating that year so most were curious about what I would be doing after high school. Midwifery was my answer (still did not know a doula and midwife had very different roles), but I never went into too much detail as I was still uncertain myself.

One day at church, Lisa, my pastor's wife, came up to me to say she and Mike had been praying about it and felt lead to ask me if I wanted to come to their baby's birth. She made it quite clear I did not have to come if I did not want to, but she also understood I was uncertain about my calling. She offered that if witnessing her baby’s birth would solidify my intentions, she was very willing to have me. She was genuinely thinking about God's calling on my life and wanted to help me in this way. I never told her about my calling. I only told her I was considering it, and I respect her so highly for being led by the Spirit and acting on his guiding. If she had not, I am not sure if I would be writing this today as I may have never set out on the journey to be a childbirth professional. My second prayer had been answered and I knew God had made it quite clear what He wanted for me in the near future. Now I knew it was up to me if I was going to trust and act on it and step out in faith.

I am an analytical person. I love it when things are black and white. I did not know how I was going to be a doula and childbirth educator, but I knew without a doubt it was what I was supposed to do. He had answered both of my prayers! At the time, I could not fathom why anyone would want me at their birth, know why home birth was such a wonderful option, and certainly could not imagine getting up in front of people and teaching a class! I was reminded that God equips the called, He does not necessarily call the equipped.

This quote from Ian Thomas comes to mind, "The Christian life can be explained only in terms of Jesus Christ, and if your life as a Christian can still be explained in terms of you- your personality, your willpower, your gift, your talent, your money, your courage, your scholarship, your dedication, your sacrifice or your anything- then although you may have the Christian life, you are not yet living it."

With laying out my “fleece” and having both of my prayers answered, I knew I had to answer the call. He had answered me so clearly. How could I not do the same? When I think I cannot write another word for that never ending paper or read another paragraph with yet more words that I do not understand, I am reminded that God called me to this in the first place and promises blessing. Knowing that my life is not dictated by me or what I am equipped with in the present, is such a comfort to me. Nothing is impossible and the blessings are unfathomable.

With that understanding under my belt, I started the doula and childbirth educator program in October of 2010, just as I had planned. I enjoyed it immensely, and was challenged and encouraged by my coach and what I was learning. I still could not fathom teaching a class or knowing everything in my books but, as I was reading a biography about a missionary named Lillian Trasher, I was moved by her childlike faith. She was a missionary to Egypt and opened the very first "faith" orphanage there. She did not get very many donations but lived each day by faith. This excerpt is from a time in her life when her health was declining because of her self-sacrifice in putting all of the orphan children before her own needs:

As she lay in the hospital bed, thinking about the toll that being Mama to so many orphans had taken on her body, Lillian had no thoughts of self-pity. She knew she would have given more if she'd had any more to give. Her walk of faith in Egypt reminded her of the fable that Egyptian children learned at school. It was a story about a boy who had to cross a vast desert. There were no watering holes along the way, and so, whenever he needed a drink, he had to stop and dig a well with his bare hands. After he had dug several of these watering holes, his hands were cut and bloody, but he went on. When he finally got to the other side, he was completely worn out.

A month later this boy watched as another boy walked out of the desert. The second boy had taken the exact same route as the first boy, but he looked fresh and happy, skipping along with a huge bunch of flowers in his arms.

"How could you cross the desert and look so fresh and cool?" the first boy asked. "And where did you get those flowers? I didn't see a single one when I crossed just a month ago."

The second boy answered. "Oh, the way is beautiful. There are many small wells brimming with cool water along the way, and around each well there are flowers and shady bushes. It was easy to cross. Didn't you see them?"

The first boy looked down at his scarred hands and smiled. He knew that his own suffering had made the desert an easier place to cross for those who followed after him.

Like the first boy in the story, Lillian was content knowing that God had called her to dig holes in the desert and that many flowers would bloom as a result of her toil. (page 161-162 from Lilian Trasher: The Greatest Wonder in Egypt by Janet and Geoff Benge.)

Lillian went to Egypt not knowing what her plans for the future would be. She went feeling God calling her there but her future was not guaranteed safe, comfortable, happy or secure. She went because He was leading her there and she never looked back. The hymn written by John Elliott based on scriptures Romans 11, Isaiah 40 and Job 41 and Jeremiah 23 reminds me of Lillian and her life. I believe, the only way she could begin a life so uncertain must have been because she had these truths planted so deeply in her heart:

“Oh, the depth of the riches, the wisdom of God

How unsearchable are His ways.

How profound are his judgments, so high above our thoughts,

And His pathways no man can trace.

REFRAIN
For from Him and through Him,
And to Him are all things!
To Him be glory forevermore!
To Him be glory forever!
Amen! Amen! Amen!

Oh, the depth of the riches, the wisdom of God
How magnificent are His ways.
Who has been His advisor And who has counselled Him,
All He gives us who can repay?

Oh the depths of the riches, the wisdom of God
How immeasurable is His grace!
How unfailing His kindness, so far removed His wrath,
And His mercies are new each day!”

From this hymn and Lillian’s life, I have realized that even when we are not sure why we are called, it is still from Him and He still has a purpose for it. Truly, His ways are unsearchable and when it is for Him and through Him and to Him, He reveals himself in ways that we cannot even fathom. I did not know why I had this calling at the time, but it is amazing to see His hand and His purpose behind it now.

The last part of my journey might be rather predictable. It seems to have been obvious to everyone except myself. I was asked often in those first few months of my studies why I was going to be a doula and not a midwife. I do not remember having a very good answer except I felt more comfortable in a supportive role that could take a back seat during birth if necessary. It was just comfortable knowing I would not have excessive amounts of responsibility. As I went along in my studies, my coach honestly asked why I was in the doula program and not the midwifery program. She noticed all the work I was putting in and did me a favor in telling me that a lot of that work could go towards the midwifery program.

I had finally started getting comfortable with the idea that I was to be a doula, and then she brought up the question I was avoiding! I wanted to create a network of doulas so hospitals and crisis pregnancy centers in my area would be able to provide doulas for every mother who wanted one. I really thought that would take some time and effort! Teaching childbirth classes at the same time seemed quite a bit for me to handle. I also saw myself training other doulas after a while, and the suggestion I instead go on to be a midwife really put a wrench in my comfortable plans! Becoming a doula did not seem easy to me, but at least I had a plan to reach my goals. I had it all figured out, or at least I thought I did.

With my coach's prompting and encouragement, I realized she was saying exactly what I needed to hear. I did not want to hear it at first, and I think I just laughed at the idea. I asked some questions to be kind, but the more I asked, the more she told and the more I realized she opened up something in my heart I did not know was there! During that time I came to realize, even in Virginia, there were huge pockets without access to a midwife who was trained in out of hospital birth. Virginia is rather kind to midwives compared to other states and I really thought the situation was better than it is.

The more I came to face reality, I also admitted to myself that the United States is one of the richest countries in the world and if a "good" state is like this, I could only imagine what other states were like, let alone third world countries. Starting out, I was moved because nobody else was stepping up to the plate to be a supportive person in the form of a doula or a teacher in the form of a childbirth educator. How could I not step up to the plate when I had the resources, the time, and now the knowledge that there simply are not enough midwives?

So, after being in the doula and childbirth educator program for all of 5 months, I switched to the midwifery program with hesitation but enough conviction to not look back. My main concern was that I would not be able to offer doula services as some women might need because of the responsibilities which come with being a midwife. I also wondered if I would be able to offer childbirth classes like I felt my community needed.

Through time, I have come to realize I will be able to be a doula and teach classes for some time while I am a student midwife. I have also come to understand that as a midwife, I will be better able to teach and support than with just a doula and childbirth educator certification. Training others will also be easier to make the ripple radiate even more. The idea I will not be working alone anymore but with a new generation of aspiring midwives and doulas excites me. It also gives me hope because with more hearts beating for the passion of one goal, the easier and more fulfilling the crossing will be for so many expectant moms, and more healthy babies will be the result.

When I switched to the midwifery program, you could say I jumped in with both feet but did not actually know the pool that I jumped into. I had fairly serious hesitations but knew that from a financial standpoint, it was better to start the midwifery program sooner rather than later. I also knew that I could switch back to my first plan if I really felt I was going in the wrong direction. Logically, there was no reason for me to not be in the midwifery program, but I still doubted this new responsibility and adventure was to be my own personal future. Unlike the doula program, I had not laid out a “fleece” to confirm the steps I was taking. I do not know what made me say “yes” then but I know now why I say “yes” each day. The more I study from a historical perspective, the more I know about midwifery and its history. As I learn, I come across midwives of the past that seemed to have done their work as a duty, responsibility and passion. In A Midwife’s Tale, Martha Ballard is pictured and her life is drawn out and described through her diary. This is one expert:

"What took Martha Ballard out of bed in the cold of night? Why was she willing to risk frozen feet and broken bones to practice her trade? Certainly midwifery paid well, at least by the standards usually assigned women's work. Martha cared about her "rewards," and she kept her midwifery accounts carefully. Yet money alone cannot account for her commitment. Nor is it enough to say that serving others was her way of serving God. She interpreted her work, as all of life, in religious terms: God rescued her from the spring flood, sustained her through difficult deliveries, preserved the lives of mothers and children, and gave her the strength to continue her work. (Even such a prosaic end-of-the-year summary as "I have Lost 42 nights sleep the year past" was a kind of spiritual accounting.) Yet religious faith is also an inadequate explanation. Midwifery was a form of service and a source of material rewards, but even more than that it was an inner calling, an assertion of being. Martha Ballard's specialty brought together the gentle and giving side of her nature with her capacity for risk and her need for autonomy.

The Fathers who fetched her in the black of night leaned on her skill, offering her the command of their horses and bedchambers, bestowing lumber credits and teapots for service. The women who circled around her at the height of travail respected her caring and sustained strength. The women who reached for her in the anguish of travail extended her motherhood in their own. Martha Ballard needed her patients as much as they needed her."

I have come to learn, just through Martha and her life, that while midwifery could have been seen as an income alone, it was also a commitment she dutifully kept to her community around her. This commitment she had cannot be described as anything less than a calling, a calling that revealed the “gentle and giving side of her nature” and one that she kept as a service toward her Lord. Through her diary, it is also revealed that while doctors and other educated people came into her community and attended women in birth, she still kept on with her calling until her death. I have to ask what made her continue through her entire life even when others clearly thought their new ways were better than her traditional ones. I have realized that midwifery, while an occupation to most, is also a clear cut state of mind and way of care. It differs from all other occupations that look for the potential pathological problems in women’s health. It sees pregnancy and birth as a normal life process and seeks to help instead of hinder this process by keeping unnecessary interventions statistically low. With this trust, comes respect for the woman and her unborn baby. The sanctity of human life goes hand in hand with this respect and it is obvious to me that Martha Ballard’s calling was to this trust and respect just like my calling is to the same. I feel as though I have just seen the tip of the iceberg as far as midwives of the past. Truly, aspiring midwives have a high standard to live up to that cannot be lowered.

One of my favorite authors said this about fellow believers, "They relinquish their lives and hand them over to their beloved Mighty Commander. This isn't how their journey on earth ends; rather, it is how their journey begins. Their dreams, their ambitions, their plans are given up for the dreams, ambitions and plans of their Beloved." Indeed, this is exactly how my journey began. I was drawn to midwifery because of child-like romanticism but it has grown into a passion because of the knowledge I have gained through the doula and childbirth educator program, midwives of the past and facts of the present. He answered the prayers I had in the form of a “fleece” and has prompted me to trade my ambitions for His upon entering the midwifery program. In the end, all I can say is that the dreams, ambitions and plans of my Beloved are so much more exciting, exhilarating and fulfilling compared to my own. At the time of this writing, I have only been in the midwifery program for one month, am working on catching up on assignments since switching programs and have still only seen one birth in my short life.

"I die daily" and look forward to what the future holds! All so "THAT I MAY KNOW HIM, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings…” (Philippians 3:10)

Bethany Stricker

Charis Midwifery Academic Course

Coach - Susan Oshel

Module 1: Writing Assignment: My Heart

April 5th, 2011

(Bethany has come to our home several times as an "intern", learning about sewing among other things, and we are delighted that she is studying to be a midwife! May God call many other young women into this service for His glory!)

Long Time No See!

2011-02-28T07:11:00.000-08:00

Dear friends,

This year has been one of the most hectic years in a long time! We have spent almost more time on the road than at home. My blogging was very neglected as a result.

In June we traveled to Williamsburg with friends and adopted more "grandchildren" into our family. Then we attended the graduation of two of our "granddaughters" -- the sisters who have spent time with us, learning to slipcover couches and make patterns, and who organized all my sewing tools! (See http://practicallypretty.blogspot.com/)

We also spent time this summer and winter in the car driving my Brazilian nephew (here for piano courses at Morefield University) to many places, including Washington, DC, Ohio, Kentucky, through Maryland to Pennsylvania, and back to West Virginia, and on to South Carolina. What a joy to have him in our home, especially since we have not seen him since 2004. He treated us to many piano concerts in our home and several other places.

In September, my daughter Jennie took me to England to help with her three young daughters on her Jane Austen's England tour! What a wonderful time we had together, touring England in its best weather, and visiting old friends whom we have not seen for years. While we were there, my husband traveled to visit friends in Georgia and Florida, ending up going on a camping trip in Alabama with Jennie's husband and sons, before picking me up in the Atlanta airport on my return from England.

From Atlanta, Ovid and I went directly to Ohio to visit his oldest daughter and her family, and also to see my youngest daughter's family. We finally made it home to unpack after living out of a suitcase four weeks! We thought we were home for a long time, after being away. But...

In October, Ovid's doctor wanted to do a biopsy for prostate problems, however, Ovid declined, looking for alternatives to the invasive procedure. At the same time, my doctor found my thyroid and parathyroid were not functioning properly and put me on a natural thyroid medication. I was having problems absorbing food, with severe allergy symptoms after eating most foods.

We made the decision to follow a 90 day program which included fasting for 8 days, a total body cleanse, avoiding processed "foods" and chemical toxins found in them, and eating organic foods. With no place near us to find healthy fresh foods, we decided to move to Pennsylvania for the 90 days and live near my son, where there are abundant sources for raw milk, pastured, soy-free eggs, organic meats and fresh veggies. It is difficult to have two different ways of eating, so at the beginning we decided both of us would follow the diet.

In November, we moved into the "Grandparents cottage" attached to my son's house and began our new eating program. It was not complicated, but our frequent travels during this time challenged our eating. Everywhere we went, our own cooler filled with real food and the blender were our constant companions! Since Ovid pastors a church, we had to travel back to West Virginia on weekends (with cooler and blender!); then travel back to Pennsylvania for the rest of the week.

We finally adjusted to the travel routine, and by the time our 90 days were over, we had seen good results of our eating program. After a new round of blood work, my doctor found my thyroid improved, cholesterol and triglyceride levels greatly changed for the better, and Ovid and I had each lost 15 pounds. There is still room for improvement in both of us, but this is only the beginning of our new way of eating REAL food!

We have moved back into our West Virginia home, but have decided to go to PA one week out of each month to purchase milk, eggs, meats and veggies-- and to spend time with my son and his wife and our precious grandchildren who are great encouragers to us. Without them helping us and cheering us on, we could not have made this change in our lives. Living next door to our children and grandchildren for nearly four months has taught us much about maintaining good family relationships in times of stress. God is so good to give us family and friends who have prayed for us at this time in our lives!

To God be the glory, great things He has done!

Loving Large Families

2010-06-29T16:57:00.000-07:00

Phoebe Elizabeth Winderweedle, my maternal grandmother known by her nickname "Bettie", was one of 12 children-- six boys and six girls. I never knew her, but she has always been a vivid person in my thoughts, since I was named for her. I have always been called Bettie.

My mother would recount to me all my grandmother's virtues and talents, chief among them the ability to look at a picture or design of a dress and copy it to perfection. She was a self taught seamstress who would make fashionable clothing for pennies during the depression. She had an unfortunate accident with a pair of scissors and lost her sight in one eye, which slowed her down not a whit!

I have a photo of Grandmother Bettie with nine of her siblings. (Two children died very young.) I can instantly spot my grandmother in the photo, as she is the only one of the girls dressed in a "Titanic" era dress, while her sisters are wearing black skirts and white blouses!

When my parents married, and after I was born, they went to Brazil as Presbyterian missionaries and my mother never saw her mom again. My dad was one of three children, and my mother was one of eleven. When Dad and Mom talked about having children, their goal was to have 12! They ended up with six children, but by the time the six of us were all married, my parents could say they had twelve children!

Because of a lack of faith and in conformity to the Christians we were around, my husband and I decided to stop at three children. We bitterly regretted that decision later, but the deed was done. We confessed our sin to our children and lamented with them that there would never be any more siblings. For years I dreamed about having another baby, and would wake in tears of regret.

God is so merciful to the repentant! My three children have given us 24 grandchildren in 13 years-- and my children are still young enough to have many more. Praise God for willing hearts who believe God's first commandment to "be fruitful and multiply", and who trust Him to provide all they need. My second husband's daughter has given him a granddaughter, after waiting on the Lord for many years-- that makes number 25 for us!

Psalm 127:3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Psalm 128:1 ¶ Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways.

2 For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee.

3 Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.

4 Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the LORD.

Mom, the Baby is Here!

2010-05-05T04:15:00.000-07:00

My son called early the morning of April 27 to say that Josiah had arrived! The labor was short, and the baby arrived weighing 9 pounds 12 ounces and was 23 inches long! What a blessing!

My husband and I drove up with a meal and spent the next three days cooking meals, reading to the older children, and enjoying our new grandson. When the baby slept, mom slept-- usually during the day!

How good God is to bless our family with a new life. How grateful we are that our children love large families, as they see each child as a great blessing from the Lord, and commit themselves to teaching and training their children to love and obey Him.

It is not easy rearing children in this age of hatred of children and rebellion against God. May God bless all of you who trust Him for the strength, courage and grace to "receive little ones" in His name!

Psalm 127

1 ¶ Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.

2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.

3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Lady in Waiting Again!

2010-04-10T06:11:00.000-07:00

Our bags have been packed for weeks. The laundry room is crowded with things we need to put in the car as soon as we receive the phone call that the baby is on the way. My little greenhouse is full of seedlings almost ready to place in the garden beds, including the plants we started here for my son's garden in Pennsylvania. Those plants will also need to be put in the car to take north when the baby comes!

And we wait! And pray! And wonder-- should I go ahead and soak my bread to make tomorrow? What if the call comes and I am in the middle of making bread? Do we have time to plant the windbreak trees we bought the other day? We have not finished getting the garden beds readied for planting-- we should have already planted the beets and Swiss chard!

Sometimes waiting makes me listless and unable to start a project for fear it will not be finished. Then again, I madly started painting the bathroom and managed to get it done-- but still no call!

The words from Ecclesiastes 9:10 come to mind: "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest."

There IS time to clean out a drawer, time to straighten the living room, time to put clean sheets on the bed, time to write someone a thank you note or send a birthday card. Oh! I can also do (fill in the blank)! Make a list of things that can be done in 5 or 10 minutes, and check them off as they are accomplished! It is amazing what all CAN be done while we are waiting for a big event, like the birth of our 24th grandchild, Josiah!

We can continue waiting with joy, knowing we have used our time productively, and the baby WILL eventually arrive!

Ps 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

God's Sovereign Mercy

2010-03-12T07:43:00.000-08:00

"My whole life passed before my eyes!" Have you heard people with near death experiences say that? At our near death experience this past weekend, all I could say was, "Jesus, Jesus!" All I could see was Him as we sat in total silence after the deer hit us, spun our car around, and we scraped down the guardrail. All I remember was calling out to God-- and He was there! And our car engine was still running!

God sent the young man who saw the accident, and stopped to ask us if we were all right. The young man who walked around our car and told us what was damaged, and who waited to see if we could turn the car around and head slowly back for home, 5 miles away.

How merciful was our God who allowed the deer to hit us, but only at the right spot where we would be saved alive, though our car was totaled! If the deer had hit us in any other spot, we might have been seriously injured, or even spun the other direction into the path of the young man's pickup truck.

God is sovereign over ALL THINGS at ALL TIMES, and He is merciful to the ones who trust in Him, as well as to those who do not. God does all things to accomplish His will and to magnify His own name!

Aside from sore neck muscles, we are well and safe. Praise be the Lord, the Almighty, the King of Creation! To Him be all glory forever and ever!

Psalm 103: 1-5 «A Psalm of David.»

1 ¶ Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.

2 Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:

3 Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;

4 Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;

5 Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Old and New Year's Joy

2010-01-12T18:12:00.000-08:00

In December I received a surprise letter from a young mother of 5 children:

I need to thank you!

Thank you for teaching me to sew!! It has been one of the biggest blessings of my life. I've never stopped using the gift you gave - whether it's been for family, friends or for the church. I'm very excited because I just finished my first quilt (a king size at that!) and it turned out beautifully. I'll be posting pics in a week or so but . . . I never could have attempted anything like that if you had not invested your time teaching me this invaluable skill. I truly appreciate the time you gave to my teenage years. You've impacted my life more than you'll ever know (in more ways than just sewing too!) I sure wish older ladies realized the importance of mentoring!!

Thank you, Bettie.

To God be the glory!!

Christi

The next surprise was a letter from Christi's younger sister:

January

Hi! I was just thinking about you and thought I'd drop you a note. I wanted to let you know how all the time you took to teach me things in my younger days have stayed with me through life. I never buy bread, always make my own. I remember you teaching me how to knead on your kitchen table! And this Christmas I sewed all of our gifts we gave away. I even made a saddle bag for my grandmother's wheel chair that turned out great... and I made the pattern myself! Yesterday I sewed our dog a cute fleece coat which she loves so far (she doesn't like being cold!). I've made several dresses lately and I have 18 yards of fabric in the drier right now ready to be made into some new pants and skirts.

I'm not telling you all of this to brag or be boastful, I'm telling you to let you know how appreciated you are! Anyway, thank you for taking time to teach me so many things way back when. They will never be forgotten. Take care.

Love,

Lindi

Bettie Need January

How good to hear from you! I am so proud of you for going beyond what I taught you-- now pass it on to someone else! May I add this to my Titus 2 Blog when I post Christi's letter? I'd like to make it a "sister post".

Lindi Jenkins January

Christi's letter? I didn't know! How wonderful that God put you in both of our lives. Yes, the letter is yours, please use it as you wish. :)

I love hearing about what's going on in your life these days! Keep well and may God bless you for all you have taught and continue to teach all of those future wives in this world.

Christi and Lindi are daughters of good friends of ours when Jeff and I were in church with them. When Jeff died in June 1997, Lindi came and spent many days with me until my son could finish his job in Kentucky and move to Virginia to help me after his dad died. These are precious letters for me-- I love hearing that young ladies I have mentored are using the skills they learned.

Dear women, you will never know how much your life will impact the next generation unless you make yourself available to share in even the smallest way, in teaching young women godly ways to bless their future husbands and families! Are there young ladies who would benefit from you sharing one of your talents? Go for it!!

3John 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.

Turning the Hearts of the Fathers

2009-12-02T04:22:00.000-08:00

My husband and I have recently finished reading through the OldTestament, ending with one of my constant prayers: Malachi 4:5,6

Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD:

And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.

Over my life I have seen God turn the hearts of many fathers to their children, and many children to their fathers. We have known a young couple for several years, and have prayed for them as they yearned many years for children. When they were married, the husband told his wife he wanted children, but he also wanted her to work even when children came along. They worked many years, hoping for children. When it seemed they would never have any, the wife became pregnant! What joy for them to welcome a beautiful little girl into their family!

Then the "impossible" miracle happened-- God turned the heart of the father toward his daughter! Though he wanted many children, he did not realize just how precious a child is. When his wife had to take the baby to a sitter and go to work, the husband cried! He told his wife he never wanted her to work again-- he did not want anyone to care for their daughter and rear her apart from her own mother at home.

This father loves to care for his daughter-- he even read books to her and talked with her before she was born! He plans his work schedule around his wife's work schedule so that their daughter will at least spend most of her week with her own parents. He and his wife are praying and planning for the day when only the father will have to go to work.

The mother gets up early to feed her daughter one more time before going to work. As she nurses the baby, the mother reads Scripture aloud so the child will grow up hearing God's Word from her mother's lips.

Please pray with us for these parents whose hearts have been so mightily turned toward their precious daughter! May God bless them with their hearts' desire to have mother and child at home.

Psalms 127:3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

The Beauty of Jesus

2009-11-17T08:21:00.000-08:00

Recently I woke up with this song on my mind. I learned it as a child, and found myself singing it one morning.

Let the beauty of Jesus be seen in me,

All his wonderful passion and purity.

O, thou Spirit divine

all my nature refine,

till the beauty of Jesus be seen in me.

My husband has been preaching through Christ's sermon on the mount in Matthew 5, 6 and 7. Many people, including me, have often wondered what the difference is between verse three and five, since they seem so similar.

3 ¶ Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

First of all, my husband pointed out that the "Beatitudes" are not a series of mystical feelings and attitudes which offend no one. Rather, they are strong Biblical actions which emanate from the Christian heart. They are practical applications of the laws of Christianity, and cannot be separated from one another nor from everyday life. They create astounding hostility from the wicked, as well as from some professed Christians. When consistently followed, they led to persecution and even death, as happened to the prophets of old, to Christ and to all of the apostles except John. Christ even warned that his followers (which include present Christians) will also be persecuted

10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

The difference between "poor in spirit" and "meek" is what struck me most this week.

Christ started his sermon right at the root of the blessings of God with poverty of spirit, or humility before God for salvation. To be poor in spirit is to be aware that one is a sinner and has no righteousness or hope of heaven on his own apart from Christ. He cannot enter the kingdom of God apart from the new birth, John 3. He must humble himself, become as a child and come in simple trust in Christ for his only hope in the kingdom of heaven. To be poor in spirit is to take the first step to receiving the rest of God's blessings.

5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

Meekness, on the other hand, refers to being broken to harness, as you would "break" a horse or elephant for domestic use. Notice how the horse bucks until it finally realizes it cannot buck off the rider. The horse does not lose his strength, but his will is broken so his strength can be used constructively. The horse's strength and stamina is not compromised. Rather it is harnessed.

Look at Jacob, Moses, Joseph and many other Old Testament saints. Their pride and self-sufficiency had to be broken before they could be used of the Lord. Meekness refers to our natural strength and abilities being harnessed by the Lord to be used according to His word.

Meekness includes receiving injuries with the confidence that God will vindicate us. Meekness is the opposite of sudden anger, malice and long-harbored vengeance. Meekness does not include cowardice. Meekness has an honest opinion of self. It neither boasts, contends nor exalts itself over others.

When we think of meekness, we often think of hiding in a cave or behind closed doors for fear of what is going on outside. Godly meekness does not sit back fearful of attacking evil and wickedness, Rather, godly meekness enters into the fray depending not on self and self esteem, but depending on the Lord working through us according to His word.

Meekness not only hears the Word, but submits to it in thought, word and deed. Through meekness, we are promised that sin in ourselves and in the world around us can be conquered. Meekness is required in the one offering the truth, and meekness is required in the one receiving the truth. Meekness conforms to God's truth.

Meekness describes our King: Matt. 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

I Peter 3:4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

Those who have the meekness of Christ are like their King, and they shall reign with him. They shall "inherit the earth."

Poor in spirit inherits the kingdom of heaven. Meekness inherits the earth!

O, thou Spirit divine
all my nature refine,
till the beauty of Jesus be seen in me.

"To God Be the Glory, Great Things He Hath Done!"

2009-10-11T17:05:00.000-07:00

To God Be the Glory

Text: Fanny J. Crosby

Music: William H. Doane

1. To God be the glory, great things he hath done!

So loved he the world that he gave us his Son,

who yielded his life an atonement for sin,

and opened the lifegate that all may go in.

Refrain:

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,

let the earth hear his voice!

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,

let the people rejoice!

O come to the Father thru Jesus the Son,

and give him the glory, great things he hath done!

2. O perfect redemption, the purchase of blood,

to every believer the promise of God;

the vilest offender who truly believes,

that moment from Jesus a pardon receives.

(Refrain)

3. Great things he hath taught us, great things he hath done,

and great our rejoicing thru Jesus the Son;

but purer, and higher, and greater will be

our wonder, our transport, when Jesus we see.

(Refrain)

This wonderful hymn by Fanny J. Crosby has been my favorite since I was a young girl. The words reflect the omnipotence and sovereignty of God throughout time and beyond. We owe Him our praise and honor. Ps 136:4 To him who alone doeth great wonders: for his mercy endureth for ever.

When I went into surgery Monday morning, Oct. 5th, I was surrounded by the power of God through the prayers of our faithful family and friends– what peace I had! The surgery went well, and I was able to be discharged Wednesday afternoon.

This knee replacement has been better than my first one, two years ago. I believe the increased prayers on my behalf have made the difference– to God be the glory!

Thank you all for being the body of Christ in action in your prayers for me. May God richly bless you with His unfailing joy!

New Knee!

2009-10-02T13:46:00.000-07:00

What a blessing that God has allowed man to discover ways to replace a knee, or hip! Truly, in Him "are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." Colossians 2:3

Two years ago I had my right knee replaced-- what a difference it has made in my ability to move pain free! Last summer was the first time in years that I have been able to have a vegetable garden. This summer we also had a garden, but arthritis has taken its toll, and I will be having my left knee replaced October 5th.

Pain will be my companion a bit longer as it took me at least seven months to adjust to my first knee replacement and get past the pain of physical therapy and the repairing of tissues after surgery. Knowing in advance what to expect of the healing process is a blessing, and I have peace knowing that "this, too, shall pass!"

Holy Scriptures are full of encouragement to us frail humans as we encounter difficult and painful times:

John 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

Psalms 31:7 I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities;

Psalms 51:8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

Psalms 63:7 Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice.

Joel 2:21 Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice: for the LORD will do great things.

Psalms 30:5b in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Psalms 103:1 Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.

Psalms 103:2 Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:

Psalms 103:22 Bless the LORD, all his works in all places of his dominion: bless the LORD, O my soul.

Psalms 104:1 Bless the LORD, O my soul. O LORD my God, thou art very great; thou art clothed with honour and majesty.

The Long Wait Is Over!

2009-09-14T14:29:00.000-07:00

After many false alarms, common in first pregnancies, we finally have a beautiful healthy granddaughter! Our bags had been packed for many days, and when we finally got the call, we left home, driving the eight hours to Ohio hoping to get to the hospital in time to see our newest family member.

Wouldn't you know, the hospital had sent the mother home-- another false alarm! But God in His divine Providence had ordered all things for the best. We had a relaxing night 's sleep at my step-daughter's home, and were present when the real contractions began Thursday September 10. By 11 at night, she called her doctor who confirmed that she should go to the hospital.

My husband, his younger daughter and I sat up and tried to find comfortable positions in the waiting room chairs most of the night. By 6 a.m. we decided enough was enough, and headed back to the house to await the birth announcement!

Corey called at 1:30 p.m. to announce, "The head is crowning!" We got back into the car and made it to the hospital in time to see our 20 minute old granddaughter nursing and bonding with her mother! We stayed another day, and met Corey's mother and sisters who had driven from Indiana to meet Madalynne Carol!

We are back home in West Virginia, and have spoken with Jessica several times in two days, with the good news that mom and baby are getting along well-- not much sleep for the parents, yet!

What a blessing it was for me to be with my step daughter for part of her labor, and to rejoice together with her in the safe delivery of her healthy baby! Children are the heritage of the Lord, and grandchildren are the icing on the cake!

Psalms 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

Lady in Waiting

2009-08-29T12:42:00.000-07:00

For 21 times in the past 12 years, I have been a lady in waiting-- waiting for the phone call telling us a new grandchild was on the way or had already been born! This week I have been once more a "lady-in-waiting," ever since my stepdaughter informed us of her baby's "imminent" arrival. Little Maddie is due September 9th, but first babies mostly defy that deadline. Not wanting to discourage the family, we told them we would pack our bags and be ready when they called with directions to the hospital. Still we wait.

What a blessing grandchildren are! As we have watched them developing their distinct personalities, a unique sense of humor, and observed them relating to their parents, siblings, others, and us, we see the hand of God fitting each one into His design for contented families.

How startling to discover that David has his grandfather's cowlicks, or that Douglas inherited Grandma's "bird" shaped ears; that the darling brunette has turned into a stunning curly headed blond! Jeffrey has been "grown up" and very serious about his future life since age 2; by age two, William displayed the most advanced vocabulary and maturity! John, Alex, and Thomas are master Lego builders with creativity in engineering design that boggles our old brains! And the girls are truly feminine wonders, creative at work and play! The very much non-identical twins are best buddies. The youngest ones smile their biggest smiles for Grammie and Grandpa, and we are totally in love with all.

What will this newest one be like? And the little girl coming in November, and the mystery one coming next April? Ah! The joy and anticipation of a lady-in-waiting!

Psalms 127 and 128:

1 ¶ A Song of degrees for Solomon. Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.

2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.

3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

1 ¶ A Song of degrees. Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways.

2 For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee.

3 Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.

4 Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the LORD.

5 The LORD shall bless thee out of Zion: and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life.

6 Yea, thou shalt see thy children’s children, and peace upon Israel.

Second Childhood?

2009-07-28T06:48:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally gave in and let my husband Ovid buy a bike! And what a bike! We rode it Sunday afternoon for about a half hour, laughing so hard we could hardly pedal! Yes, we bought a bicycle built for two! On our way home from the Martinsburg Hospital where Ovid had an echo cardiogram (routine test), we saw a man selling bikes from his front yard, so we stopped to look. He adjusted the front seat for me and told us it is hard for a man to adjust to being in the back seat where the power pedals are-- men normally want to be in the driver's seat, so it takes communication, coordination and working together to really get adjusted to a bicycle for two. As newly weds (8 years), we can always learn more about communication and working together!

Well, we took it for a test ride Sunday afternoon, since the man who sold it to us said if we did not like it, we could bring it back. We got on, balanced ourselves, and headed down the hill-- what fun! With cool air whizzing past our faces, the exhilaration was great! We felt like children released from an unwanted chore to go flying out the door! That is, until Ovid thought I was going into the ditch on the side of the road and got frustrated that his handle bars attached to my seat did NOT give him the power to turn the bike! The seller told us the bike would be different than a single seater-- we just had to learn HOW different! It also did not help that my seat was slightly loose and when Ovid tried to steer from the back, he kept turning my seat! We were laughing so hard we had to stop in the middle of the road-- my tears were blinding my steering ability!

Ovid had brought the tools to reset my seat, and once he could not move my seat around, we managed to have a great ride! It sure is a cardiac workout on the uphill-- I was in a full sweat. But the exercise for my knees is wonderful. I can feel the workout on my thighs and flexibility on my knees without so much weight bearing pain as when we take walks. My left knee gets replaced Oct. 5th, and hopefully I can strengthen my muscles in both legs before the surgery, and also ride the bike after surgery to restore flexibility in the left knee. God is so good! We have not laughed that hard in ages!

Thought you would want to know what us old folks are up to!

Proverbs 17:22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

Thoughts on Aging

2009-07-09T03:19:00.000-07:00

As a goal oriented, type A person, I have always had my plate full. When I was first married, I taught in a Christian school while my husband was in seminary, and also did the ordinary wifely things of homemaking and hospitality. When our children were born, I no longer taught at school, but continued homemaking and hospitality, and added the feeding, diapering, training and discipling to my duties as a wife. Balancing those things was sometimes difficult, as it was easy to let some things fall by the wayside. I now had to work hard at not neglecting my first job-- that of wife to my husband!

Then we added homeschooling to our list of priorities. The first year was hard as our children complained that it was not "real" school and I was not like their teacher from "real" school! Enter Daddy, the husband, father, homeschool Principal! Over the years we both learned to "balance" quite a lot of activities. My husband was very helpful in helping me decide what new tasks to take on-- praise God for His plan of submission! It was great to be able to say, "My husband does not feel I can do that at this time."

When the children grew up and married, I had to learn what to do with time again. I volunteered to wash dishes for Senior Citizen lunches at church, taught a couples Sunday School class with my husband, and continued upholstering and custom sewing for other people, as I had time in between homemaking and hospitality.

When I was widowed at 52, EVERYTHING changed! For four years, God sent other activities to fill my days and I eventually adjusted to the loss of my husband. I still was active in homemaking, hospitality, church activities, and sewing, but now God added grandchildren, and mentoring and discipling younger women to my plate. What a joy that has been!

When I remarried at 56, God gave me lots of new activities, including moving across country twice in a little over a year! Homemaking, hospitality, sewing, mentoring and being wife, stepmother, and grandmother to a growing tribe of Blessings completely filled my plate again. God is so good!

Yesterday, I realized my days of multi-tasking may be limited! As I was pinning a slipcover together, I pricked my finger and bloodied my hand. On my way to the kitchen to wash off the blood to avoid staining the fabric, I spotted the hummingbird syrup cooling on the stove. So I picked up the pan on my way to the sink, and poured the syrup into the hummingbird feeder. I noticed an ant walking around the edge of the pan, so as soon as I finished filling the feeder, I set it down to rinse the ant down the drain. Suddenly I was covered with syrup flowing over the counter onto my dress and the floor! I had set the feeder onto the counter without first putting on the bottom part and turning the feeder over so it could stand without dripping. How many times have I filled the feeder in my life?!

Yes, I know that is a silly matter on which to base my conclusion that I can no longer multi-task, but it showed me that I AM aging and cannot expect to do so many things at once as I once was able to do. I walk into a room looking for something and spot some task I have not done, do it; then realize I should also clean my desk, or maybe finally add to my blogs, and a few minutes later, my husband walks in to ask me why the kitchen faucet is running in an empty sink!

My dreams lately have been of having a day when I can sit down and read a book all the way through in one sitting, instead of taking weeks to read it between other daily chores. Or of having a day when I can really clean out the flower beds, instead of just watering them occasionally because I must pick the vegetables in the garden and can them before the next batch comes in-- and guests are coming for supper, and I have not finished folding the laundry yet. I used to be able to do all those things at once without even thinking.

I believe God prepares us for each stage in our lives, and His preparation for me now may be to slow down and gratefully accept my limitations so that when the time comes when I may be really limited, I will not stress about it and complain that I cannot do all that I once did. Praise God, I may get to slow down and read that book in one sitting after all!

Psalms 37:25 I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.

Tribute to a wife

2009-04-21T11:37:00.000-07:00

A few years ago as we traveled down Rt. 221 South near Louisville, GA, we happened to see a sign for a Revolutionary War cemetery. Curious, we pulled off the highway and followed the dirt road back to a small cemetery tucked among the pines. We wandered among the stones in the dappled light, reading the tributes to soldiers and others who lived more than a hundred years ago.

A massive monument with writing on four sides caught our eyes and we thought it must be a tribute to an important soldier. Here are the words that so captivated us:

A Christian Woman

is the highest, best gift of God to earth: and here lies one of its brightest exemplifications!

Christianity was with her a sentiment deeply interwoven in all her thoughts, feelings, and affections.

Kind and benevolent, unexacting and charitable, brilliant but humble--

Vigorous in intellect, sweet and lovely in person, meek and gentle in disposition--

her life and character have left their impress indelibly fixed in the heart of those whose wise counselor, and devoted partner, she was through all the vicissitudes of an eventful though brief career.

Though married when young, ardent and hopeful, in the midday splendor of youthful hopes and aspirations, she entered upon her domestic duties with an energy and devotion which could feel no decline; and by the purity and vigor of her own character she won from the most slavish passions, him whose welfare was her highest happiness, and whose character was her own handiwork.

Her exalted mission accomplished-- she laid down her Cross,

Took up her Crown,

and now sweetly rests in the bosom of her Savior.

MY WIFE

Mary H. daughter of Mary & Dr. Wm. Savage

wife of Col. A.R. Wright

born Dec. 28, 1825 married Apr. 26, 1843

died June 23, 1851

What a tribute to a true I Peter 3 wife! "1 ¶ Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

Blessed are the available

2009-04-17T06:01:00.000-07:00

Blessed are the conduits,

the tunnels, the tools.

Deliriously joyful are the ones who believe

that if God has used sticks and rocks

to do His will, then He can use us.

Max Lucado

Very often I feel totally inadequate for most anything! I often feel inadequate to make even the simplest decision. Has that ever happened to you?

Amid the bill paying, dishwashing, laundering, cleaning, preparing meals, visiting, talking with people, driving here and there, a small voice says-- "What are you doing great for God? You are just a cog going around and around the wheel." My life is very ordinary, and it sometimes seems that I am just going through the motions of life.

Then a friend sends me a card with the above words, and God shows me it is faithfulness in the small things which we think are unimportant in "LIFE" that God is most present! We may never know that our daily faithfulness in the dirtiest chores has affected the life of someone else, unless someone tells us.

If you are down in the dumps, take the time to remember when someone else's faithfulness in small things encouraged you-- send them a thank you letter. You may never know how much it cheers them, but God will!

Lord, help me to focus on you and others instead of on my own little corner of life.

Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

Philippians 2:4

Life and Death-- Spring and Winter

2009-03-17T08:56:00.000-07:00

Spring almost came in March! After I spent a few warm days of cleaning out the flower beds, getting my hopes up for an early spring, winter returned, dashing my hopes. Along with winter, death came to our small community.

We attended a memorial service locally for one of our neighbors who died and had been buried in Ohio. The husband and wife pastor team leading the service acknowledged they did not know the deceased very long, and then proceeded to “preach him into heaven!” Because he loved his children and had pizza parties for his grandchildren, “he was a good man– I am sure he is enjoying the love of God in death.” A new believer in our church was disgusted– she knew the deceased well and knew he was not anywhere near being saved.

The next funeral was for the last “Bean” of Bean Settlement where we live. He was 95, had lived a godly life, and his consistent message– to his dying day– was, “It’s not about me, it’s about Jesus!” The preachers leading the service testified to his godliness and constant encouragement to others to know Jesus.

The third funeral, two days later, was for a man who was a member of the Lutheran church, a Ruritan member, a leader in the farming community who befriended anyone he met, and who was instrumental in introducing us to others in the community when we moved here two years ago. During the “viewing” the night before the funeral, over 800 people stood in line– a line that wrapped around the building outside in the cold wind– to pay their respects to the family.

The preacher leading the service the next day compared the man to country songs about cowboys who loved getting back on their horses after being thrown in a rodeo. He said the deceased loved farming, nature and livestock, and died doing what he loved best– taking care of the cow who killed him! (I lost my first husband in an accident, and it bothered me how casually and jokingly the preacher mentioned how the man died.) Those who gave testimony to the deceased’s friendship included one of his sons, who testified that his dad never pushed him into anything, but always told him what he became in life was up to himself to decide.

How sad! The one man whose life was a testimony to the saving power of Christ had few at his funeral, compared to the crowd at the last funeral. Mr. Bean only had one son, who has only one daughter with two children . What a loss to the world that the godly man had so few children to be discipled and led to Christ! The farmer had three sons, with several grandchildren. Since he worked at Southern States and among the farmers, he met many people during his lifetime. Was his testimony to them, “Be what you want to be,” or was it, “It’s all about Jesus”?

Losing my first husband and then my parents two years later, I realized how uncertain and short life is, and why we must take every opportunity we have right now to make each minute count for God’s kingdom! Don’t just be friendly– introduce your family and neighbors to the only Friend who is eternal. Don’t let your friends live in perpetual winter– introduce them to the One who bought our salvation and gives us eternal life. Spring is the season of new life– how I look forward to God’s renewing the earth, too!

Hebrews 9:27, 28 And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation.

Psalms 30:5 For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Rejoice!

Practical Love

2009-02-12T03:51:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 31:10 ¶ Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

Titus 2:4 tells older women to teach the younger women to “be sober (to be wise and prudent in their conduct to their husbands, and in the management of family affairs), to love their husbands.” Proverbs 31 shows us a wife whose “husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.” A woman who will “do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

"The heart of her husband can be at rest, it can rest on her whom it loves—he goes after his calling, perhaps a calling which, though weighty and honorable, brings in little or nothing; but the wife keeps the family possessions scrupulously together, and increases them by her laborious and prudent management, so that there is not wanting to him gain, which he properly did not acquire, but which the confidence he is justified in reposing in his wife alone brings to him. She is to him a perpetual spring of nothing but good." (Keil and Delitzsch)

O, that we would always be a perpetual spring of nothing but good! How do we love our husbands– with working up “mushy” romantic feelings, or also with practical deliberate actions? Especially in times of financial turmoil, we women need to be very practical! Older women must teach younger women to be content and learn to “make do” with what we have. As a woman who loves to re-arrange her furniture and thus “get a new room,” I love to paint the walls and “get new furniture to match.” One of the best ways to get “new” furniture is by covering what you do have with an inexpensive slipcover.

One of my dear neighbors, Laura, was helping her cousin clear his mother’s house of her furniture when the house sold, so my husband and I also went along to help. Laura was on the verge of throwing out what seemed like a “lost cause” couch, when I persuaded her to keep it, and we would fix it up together. The couch seemed better suited to the trash heap, but I sat in it and thought the basic structure was still sound. So we put the couch in our garage– to my husband’s (temporary) dismay!

Laura is not a “floral fabric” person, so it took several months to find inexpensive material that she liked. One day as we checked out our local Wal-Mart’s meager fabric supply, we found upholstery fabric Laura liked. Upholstering (and slipcovering) directions suggest that 9 or 10 yards would be needed for her love seat which has 4 detached cushions. Alas! There were only 7 yards! So we purchased a tan upholstery fabric to use for the rear of the couch if needed and took it to my house.

A couple of weeks before we started work on the couch, two sisters contacted me about doing a sewing apprenticeship. I mentioned that Laura and I would be working on a slipcover for a couch, and they said they would love to help, but due to their homeschool schedule, they only had from a Wednesday noon until Monday noon to help. Since they live only two hours away, we agreed to a date. (My daughter, Jennie, encouraged me to photograph each step and make the slipcover experience into an E-book– new idea to me!)

The sisters arrived with their mother for lunch, and after their mother left, we began removing the “skirt” of the couch, photographing each step. We

were only able to work one hour Wednesday due to our Bible study that evening. We worked on the couch Thursday, Friday and Saturday for 6 to 7 hours each day, taking breaks to fix meals, listen to the sisters play the piano and their harp, and photograph the five or six deer that came up on our back patio to eat the bird seed!

Laura and the girls learned to “drape” fabric on the couch to decide which way the stripes should go, cut, tuck, pin, sew sections together, match stripes, “rip” out mistakes, re-position fabric, and when we found we did not have enough to cover the front skirt of the couch, to cut some from the backrest piece and add some tan fabric in its place! The sisters also learned how to use the serger for the cut edges of the fabric.

We had two machines and the serger going most of the time. When I was on my machine, sewing the final bulky parts on Monday, the sisters made two pillow covers with velcro closings. God is so good! We had enough of the main striped fabric to cover the couch without having to use the tan material except for under the cushions!

Photographing each step of everything we did took a long time– whoever was not doing something at the time became the photographer. Having to photograph each step worked out to the girls’ benefit, however, in that they experienced each step of making a slipcover. Working against the deadline of “finish before noon Monday” when the parents were to come have lunch and pick up the girls was a bit stressful, but we were just putting the decorative pillows on the newly covered couch when the parents arrived!

How privileged Laura and I were to be able to work with Rebecca and Bethany, introducing them to a skill that may be a blessing to them when they have their own homes! Many homemaking skills are being lost to the next generation, and it is up to us older women to take up the Titus 2 call to teach younger women the things that they need to know to pass on to their own daughters and granddaughters.

I encourage the older women who may read this to consider what God has gifted to you that you can pass on to younger women!

Titus 2:3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

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Fear and Trusting God

When my first husband, Jeff Ethell and I began working with drug addicts in 1970, we were newly-weds (2 years) with a zeal to serve the Lord. What we read in God’s Law assured us that God is sovereign and that He provides for His own, and we took God at His Word! The organization we were under (Richmond Youth Challenge) was struggling for funding, but we trusted God would supply our needs.

At first we lived in an apartment over a camping sales business, and had two former drug addicts living with us. Over and over again God supplied for us in many ways. One day someone drove by and left some money on the kitchen table while we were out. Their note said they had been impressed by God to give us everything in their wallets– $16.35. That was the exact amount we needed for paying a bill!

When God provided Richmond Youth Challenge with a large two story house as a place for women addicts, the blessings continued – we would be given bags of groceries, or pieces of furniture with which to furnish the house. Church friends used their carpentry skills and materials to add bedrooms and baths to the unfinished upstairs. We saw many women saved from the power of sin, and God’s constant provision was faith-building to them and to us.

Jeff and I had no medical insurance, but God provided funds to pay for our children as they were born– Jeff’s grandfather’s coin collection which he inherited paid for our first daughter’s birth. When our son was born, Jeff’s childhood comic book collection paid for that. Our third child was also covered by God’s providence.

Later, when we left the drug ministry, God provided a home for us. Though the lending banker was skeptical of our ability to take on a mortgage since we had no “regular job”, after we told him how God had provided for us for six years, he said, “You know, somehow I believe you!” And he gave us the mortgage! We lived there for 5 years and were always able to pay our bills. When we sold the house in 1984, we ended up with $15,000 equity which we used to buy another property and build a house!

Psalms 37:25 I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.

I am 64 years old, have trained three children, discipled several young ladies, and have lived through many trials, including the loss of my first husband in a plane crash, and the loss of my parents two years later; yet God’s presence and His sustaining hand has never left me. As we all face the uncertainties of our present financial turmoil, let us not be discouraged. God is still King supreme, the world and all it contains belongs to Him, He raises up and puts down nations, and there is nothing that happens– not even a sparrow falling!– that is beyond His control!

The first and last “Fear not” in the Bible (with countless others in between!):

Genesis 15:1 After these things the word of the LORD came unto Abram in a vision, saying, FEAR NOT, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward.

Revelation 1:17 And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, FEAR NOT; I am the first and the last:

18 I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.

The Depth of the Riches

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Romans 11:33 ¶ O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! 34 For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been his counsellor? 35 Or who hath first given to him, and it shall be recompensed unto him again? 36 For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen. 12:1 ¶ I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

We returned safely home from Alabama to our own beds, rejoicing in a wonderful week with one third of our grandchildren, and when we opened the front door this morning to welcome our church family to worship in our home, what should we find on the front porch but a "love" package from "adopted" grandchildren in Arizona! How great is our God to give us children and grandchildren the world over! We consider it a joy and a privilege to be loved as grandparents to our own flesh and blood, as well as to others in the household of faith. God is so merciful to us sinners-- He not only calls us to be heirs with Christ, but also gives us an extended family on earth!

For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen.

Welcome to my new blog!

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My daughters have asked me for years to sit down and write about biblical womanhood. But I've been so busy as a wife and mother that I've just never taken the time to put my thoughts down. Now as an older woman with an empty nest, I've decided to start writing for my daughters and other women who'd like to hear from a woman who has walked the path before them.

I've been a wife, a widow, a wife again, mother to three children, step-mother to two, and "Grammie" to 21 grandchildren. I've loved every moment, and each year has been an adventure.

I look forward to sharing through this blog, and I hope to inspire you with the JOY that is wrapped up in living Proverbs 31, Titus 2, I Peter 3, and all the many biblical examples of godly womanhood. I'm not perfect, but I know the One Who is, and it is He Who equips us to live out His Word.

Please drop me a line if you have questions, or leave a comment here. I've gotten lots of questions over the years, and I plan to post Q&A here as I have time. I hope I can be an encouragement to all my younger sisters in Christ as they run the race. It is worth every bump, bruise, and stumble. Press on!